Funk and Ska - Response to Will

Hi, my name is Will, and if you are unfortunate to get pulled out of neil h.'s lucky sock, and have to send me a CD, then realise that I'm bad - and not in a Michael Jackson type way. I'm bad in the way that I don't get round to reviewing your CD for ages...so, here goes.
Hi Will, my names Alan, and I am your temporary respondent. Tontosgirl sends her apologies, and hopes you will forgive her lack of a response.

How to diss the new girl: Get her to join Mixclub, let her spend hours selecting tracks, get her to send her bf to the post box with strict instructions to make sure that her "labour of love" gets to Mexico, tell her that the CD has arrived, slam it into the player, dance around all night, and then ignore your duty! Forget to say thank you, forget to write a review. So, Ann, are you annoyed yet?

1. Stiltskin - Inside
I'd never heard of Inside and here they are doing a song called Stiltskin! Weird? I'd heard of Stiltskin. I loved this track. An "operatic" opening that started to freak me out and then straight into clashing guitars. This is what I wanted! Yes! Quick leap onto the t'internet, I must find out more about Inside. Except, the track listing was the wrong way round :^) It was Stiltskin doing a song called Inside. Brilliant! This is why I like Mixclub. I'd forgotten all about Stiltskin and so spent several happy hours going through youtube and their catalogue.

What do you mean you've never heard of inside? This is mixclub isn't it? Does that not apply to the track listings too? Hands-up this is my fault. I was typing it at the time, and not tontosgirl. Ann's glad that this reminded you of a forgotten band though, that was the idea of this mix. So good news that the first track, even if the listings were reversed, was a hit.

2. Are You Gonna Go My Way - Lenny Kravitz
Still jumping arond the flat! Enjoying myself! Singing the wrong lyrics: "bicycle will go my way"! Actually I should hate this track. I can look cool, pretending to drum in mid-air, but there is no way on earth that I look cool playing air-guitar, and Mr. Kravitz tends to demand air-guitar! Great song, scores high on the "luvvin-it" scale, low score on the "impress-girlfriend" scale.

Steady Will, you're gonna give yourself a hernia if you keep that up! You did read the disclaimer didn't you? No responsibility will be accepted, yadda, yadda, blah, blah.

3. Play That Funky Music - Wild Cherry
In 1997 I spent three hours searching through charity shops. That night I appeared at "the disco" dressed in *HUGE* flares, a shirt with a collar that could be classified as a WMD, a tank top, and eight inch platform shoes. Four hours later (and several beers worse for wear) I was dancing, in the middle of the floor to "Play That Funky Music". Eleven years later I demonstrated "ma moves". This is an awful song but it is fun, fun, fun! Thank you.

Your welcome, but please keep your moves to yourself!

4. The Rain - Oran Juice Jones
Unfortunately I have no knowledge of this song, and therefore have no good memories to fall back on. My gf informs me that her mum liked it, which means that it is irredeamable. Sorry but I hit fast-forward and haven't returned to it since.

Shame that you didn't like this one. I am reliably informed by the CD compiler that this was one of the first mixes to include talking over the background song. A bit like early rap music.

5. Do Ya Wanna Funk - Sylvester
Great start, I thought for a second it was going to be Donna Summer...but it wasn't. And so I'm stuck in a song that isn't as good as I thought it would be. Which is a problem. I really, really want to love this CD and when I saw the title "Funk 'n' Ska", I think I only saw the word "Ska". Am starting to worry that I don't really like "funk". I really don't want to funk with Sylvester. I reach out and hit fast forward again.

Would you have wanted to funk with Donna Summer then? This track was one that Ann spent a subsequent ten days in hospital to, after falling off her rollerskates and cracking her head open. Ann adds if you really like Donna Summer she can send you a whole CD box set, because she has loads of her stuff.

6. My Perogative - Bobby Brown
Hang on - I know this. Please don't tell my indie friends but I quite like Ms. Spears. This is a more "funky" version. Ms. Spears' version was a little harder, acerbic, a bit more f*ck you? It's a good song, but I prefer her version. This is a song that says "this is MY perogative" but Mr. Brown's version sounds a little too inclusive. However, it's Friday night, maybe I should be a little more open.

A case of the cover version being better than the original or a case of you always prefer the version you hear first? Apparently you will have to agree to differ on this one.

7. Funky Cold Medina - Tone Loc
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh yes! This is brilliant! It is impossible to listen to this (play it loud) and not feel cool! You can strut around the flat, you can wander out onto the balcony, you can shout the lyrics across Tijuana - bring it on. Suddenly I feel a desire to play Fun Lovin' Criminals. Damn! Mayhap I was wrong. Maybe I do like funk.

So you got some satisfaction (to paraphrase Mick Jagger) from this one? Cool bananas. Get down and slide to the groove!

8. Can You Feel The Force - The Real Thing
You know that disco I went to? The one I mentioned in my review of track three? Can you guess who was the highlighted band that night? No? It was The Real Thing! Yep, it was one of those daft moments when a group turns up (three guys and a tape machine) and bangs through their greatest hits. And I was there, boogie-on-down-ing to The Real Thing. And here I am, boogie-on-down-ing in my flat, yet again. Great song - just not too sure that my gf will ever take me out...or talk to me!

Well hopefully this track won't ruin relationships, but it's good to hear that it brings back memories, you closet funkster you ;)

9. Shout To The Top - The Style Council
Paul Weller is a god! Having (musically) grown up with The Jam, and aged with them,(I really enjoyed Setting Sons), I loved the direction they moved in. I followed Paul Weller in the way that I didn't follow Sting! This is wonderful and I can dance to this, doing my indie dance.

Ann loves this for the **** the world attitude that this and other tracks by them have. Glad you are akin on this one then.

10. Mony Mony - Billy Idol
Billy Idol is a caricature. But he's a fun caricature. Go back and watch The Wedding Singer, the man's a genius. Where Sid Vicious got it wrong is that, although he was cuddly (according to John Lydon - which is why he named him Sid Vicious), he never appeared that way. Billy Idol wants to be vicious and fails miserably - a bit like Captain Sensible. Last Christmas we came across a CD with him in a cardigan, slippers, smoking a pipe - why didn't we buy it???? Anyhoo, yep, love this. As great as "White Wedding" was, as brilliant as "King Rocker" was, Billy should just stick to doing covers. Doing covers and practicing his curled lip.

Another hit, great. Ann is checking to see if she has his pipe and slippers album. If she does, she'll send you a copy!

11. Mirror in the Bathroom - The Beat
I love The Beat. Seriously, love The Beat. I am the sad guy who still goes around singing "Stand down Margaret" and, every time I go to the bathroom, sings "Mirror in the Bathroom". This song is pure genius. I am now two-tone-ing around the flat. I love The Beat. Ooops, just hit rewind (for the fourth time) - might never get to the next track :^)

Glad that this one is another hit.

12. I Am The Beat - Look
Tee hee. Lovin' this. I remember it - or, at least, I think I do. I seem to know the words. This must be one of those songs that everyone knows by osmosis. I have a big grin on my face. Could it be because "I'm in demand"? If I am, it is because "I am the beat!!!"

I think you're right. I swore blind that I'd never heard of it before, until I heard it played. It's one of those tracks that sticks in the back of your mind, and you forget until the next time that it's played and then you no all the words off by heart (even the Alvin and The Chipmunks solo in the middle)!

13. Tomorrow's Just Another Day - Madness
The problem with Madness is that they had the wrong following. "Baggy Trousers" meant that too many school kids thought they were talking to them. But, in reality, Madness were talking to a much older generation. Yes, they were/are fun, fun, fun but listen to the lyrics. This is music for a working generation - tomorrow's just another day. Any CD with Madness on it is a great CD.

If this had been my compilation I might have picked another Madness track, but Ann wanted this one because it was less well none, and you've picked up exactly the reason why. Her alternatives were Michael Caine or House of Fun (but people missed the message in these).

14. No More Heroes - The Stranglers
Again, another group that were a lot "deeper" than people gave them credit for. Seriously - how many punk bands wrote songs about Sweden - let me tell you about Sweden, only country where the clouds are interesting. The fact that they were all over the age of "hope I die before I get old" might have something to do with it. Plus the fact the keyboard player wanted to be in "Yes!" But, a lot of my "political awareness" was because of this song. Yes, I was dull enough to research all the name-checks in this song - and that was before the birth of the t'internet!

Ann likes the dark humour in the lyrics of this one, but again one with deeper meanings, exactly why it was chosen? Leon Trotsky's ears are burning!

15. Brilliant Mind - Furniture
And this is new. Obviously not new, but new to me. It sounds like something I should have been listening to. Yep, I like this. Like it in the way that if I was sat at a party, and this was on in the background, I'd stop and listen.

Quite political this one, and about not being a sheep, baa!

16. Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra
Nope. Sorry. Not your fault. I have my foibles. I have the things I dislike. I have music that immediately makes me want to tear my ears off my head. ELO may your back catalogue rot in a place that I never, ever have to hear anything you have ever done! Nothing personal but my lawyer will be in contact with you because you made me listen to this! All of this. Including the fake ending - which filled me with so much hope...and then it came back again. My lawyer will explain!

Now are we going to fall out? You don't like Phil Collins, and you don't like ELO! Oh well everyone has personal taste I suppose. Shame as ELO mix opera, orchestral and pop very well (with deep meanings).

17. The One I Love - David Gray
Do you know me? Seriously, do you know me?? Because, if you did, there is no way on this planet that you would even toy with the idea of putting a David Grey track on a CD you were sending to me...except, promise you won't tell anyone, I like David Grey. Every molecule in my soul, every part of my being, everything that I ever am, should say that David Grey should die. Except, bless his cotton socks, I like him. I like this. I don't know why. I can't explain why. But I like this. So, thank you. Just know, I'll deny it in court :^)

Did you not know that David Gray and Phil Collins are clones? Got ya!

18. Black and Gold - Sam Sparro
I have never been officially diagnosed with ADHD - probably because I don't have it. But when it comes to music, a song has to grab me or forget it. I'm four minutes into this song and, to tell the truth, I've been out, smoked a cigarette, come back, and I'm still waiting for it to start. Oh, hang on, it's finished.

Ann says this is a bonus track of modern funk (or cyber funk or something? You've completely lost me).

19. Kyrie - Mr. Mister
Ok, I am biased, opinionated, probably (a lot) obnoxious. But I'm not sure that I ever want to listen to a song by a person called Mr. Mister. Worse (oh, so much worse), my beautiful, wonderful, multi-lingual gf has just informed me that "Kyrie" in Greek means "Mister" - how much worse can this get??!!?? However, I'll give it a go. Hang on - I seem to be back in the 80s. Is this a track from one of those films that defined "Generation X"? I can already feel everyone around me reaching for their cigarette lighters. Nope, I'm sorry, I have a sudden urge to find someone with a mullet haircut and punch them in the face.

Now Will. I hope we are going to remain friends, but Ann has told me to tell you that all '80's albums ended with a cheesy heart-felt track. It was the same as going to the disco. They always ended the same way too, a meaningful, heartwrenching track that you could clutch and fondle to!

Brilliant - 13 and a half tracks are a plus. I wish/hope that the CDs I send score as highly. Of course, as is the way of the world, the 5 and a half tracks that didn't quite work will be your favourites. If I have hurt or offended in anyway, I apologise. Thanks for the CD, I really did enjoy it. As neil h. says, music should invoke some sort of feeling, and if it is good - great! And if it is bad - even better!! At least you are making a point. I've downloaded the CD and ripped the tracks I loved into my phone. They will be on suffle play! Whoot! Thank you again. And I'm sorry it has taken so long to review - my bad.

Glad to know that you liked it overall. A follow up of Phil Collins and Sam Sparro b-sides is on it's way. Sorry it has taken so long to sit down and write the reverse review, and that I have had to use my audio typist to get my review published. Given that my birthday gadget means that I can burn all my old vinyl albums to mp3, so you should get something really interesting next time we are mixclub partners.